So I haven’t written anything since before this whole mess started and I’ve been trying not to force myself to do things because this isn’t like… a sabbatical. It’s a pandemic. But today I feel like writing so here I am.
Quarantine sucks! I don’t like it! All I ever wanted was to be able to work from home on my own schedule, but not with the looming knowledge of economic collapse and a health crisis and total global chaos. This is a monkey’s paw wish if I’ve ever seen one.
When this all kicked off, I immediately told myself that I shouldn’t sit still and I should help however I can. Within two weeks, Rebecca & I pulled together an online music festival called Doomed Fest with 40+ artists that made over $3400 (in our weak Canadian dollars lmao) for the artists who performed. And then as soon as that was over, I thought “wow I need some sleep so I can get back into my normal schedule” and then… I’ve done literally nothing in the two weeks since.
I couldn’t bring myself to create anything. I haven’t even listened to music since locking myself into my home. Everything feels wrong, nothing sparks joy or creativity. And if I see one more post saying:
~~if you don’t learn a new language or start a new business or grow a whole clone human from scratch out of whatever you have in your kitchen by the end of this pandemic, you never lacked time… you lacked motivation!~~
…I will literally kick the ass of whoever posted it the moment I’m allowed within six feet of them.
This is not time off for self improvement. This is government mandated home quarantine so that we don’t get sick or die. If you cannot bring yourself to ascend to some higher version of yourself during a literal crisis, that is FINE. If you are taking this time to do something you’ve always wanted to do or bettering yourself in some way, that’s ALSO FINE. Whatever gets you through the next weeks/months is great!
I am doing… okay. I don’t know. I bought blue jeans for the first time in like 15 years? It was a birthday gift for myself since I didn’t get to see anyone or do anything. It made me feel like I had control over something in my life. Here is the proof:
The only place I’m currently thriving is in Animal Crossing. I built a whole utopia for my museum (because it’s the best part of the game) and have been constructing a neighbourhood for my islanders. Terraforming was a gift and a curse. But I literally think it’s the key to my sanity right now. While I’m owning property and making tons of money on my island, my IRL self hasn’t left her bed and is crushed under the weight of reality and not knowing what I want to do with my life when this is over. Balance!
So essentially I just wanted to stop here and say that there’s no right way to deal with all of this. Do what works for you, take the time to do things that make you feel positive if you can, and take care of yourselves. The internet tells me I should be thriving when I am definitely not, but new posts will be coming to Soft Sound Press ASAP now that I’ve broken the seal here with typing up posts again. And a few people have been asking if I’ll be returning to YouTube during this time….. should I?
Oh yeah, and visit my town in Animal Crossing. My friend code is SW-3334-5412-2629.